Introvert real estate agent? Why quiet can be your edge

You've been told real estate is a "people business," so you figure it's not for you. That's the wrong lesson. Ashley Harwood, a coach for introverted agents, says most of the top producers she has spoken with are introverts.

Yes, an introvert can be a successful real estate agent. Introversion describes where a person gets their energy, not how well they handle people, according to Susan Cain's 2012 book Quiet. Ashley Harwood, a real estate agent since 2013 and author of Move Over, Extroverts, says introverts do well in real estate because most of the work happens 1-on-1, where listening beats selling.

We sat down with Ashley to get the practical side. You'll learn how to tell if you're an introvert, how to plan your week so you never walk into a big appointment drained, how to run a listing appointment without a script, and whether a team or going solo fits you better.

Watch our full interview with Ashley Harwood.

What does it mean to be an introvert?

An introvert is a person who feels drained by long stretches of social time and needs time alone to recharge. Introversion is about how your energy flows, not whether you like people. Extroverts work the other way. Being around people charges them up.

Ashley found out she was an introvert by reading Quiet, the book by Susan Cain. "If you feel drained by being around other people, you might be more introverted," she told us. "If you get all jazzed up and excited being around other people, you might be more of an extrovert."

You're also not alone. In Quiet, Cain estimates that one-third to one-half of the population are introverts.

Is it true that introverts don't like people?

No. The belief that introverts dislike people is a myth, and Ashley Harwood calls it "a very common misconception" about introverts in real estate.

"Introverts are really great with people," she said. "We just need to manage the energy around it."

She explains it with money. Think of your energy like a bank account. You can spend it on clients, showings, and phone calls. But at some point, you have to stop and refill the account. An introvert can talk with people all day. They can't do it all day, every day, without a break.

So if you love helping people but need a quiet evening after a busy day, you're not "bad with people." You're managing your account.

What's the difference between introverted and shy?

Introversion and shyness are two different traits. Introversion is about where your energy comes from. Shyness is about fear of being judged.

Susan Cain draws this same line. "Shyness is about the fear of social judgment," Cain said in a 2019 interview with TED Ideas. Introversion, she said, is "much more about the preference for environments where there's just a little less going on."

This matters because the fixes are different. Nerves before an appointment get better with practice, which is why Ashley tells new agents to role-play first. Introversion doesn't need fixing at all. It needs planning.

Can an introvert be a good real estate agent?

Yes. Introverts can be great real estate agents because most real estate work happens 1-on-1 or in small groups, which is where introverts do their best work.

Look at what the job involves day to day:

Ashley finishes the sentence "Introverts make great agents because..." this way: "We are really great with people 1-on-1, we are skilled listeners, and we are strong problem solvers."

She also noticed something while coaching. In her experience, most of the top producers she has spoken with are introverts. She says the ones in the spotlight often put on a more outgoing persona. That's her own observation, not a study. Still, it's worth hearing from someone who coaches agents for a living.

If you're still sizing up the career as a whole, our guide on how hard a real estate career is breaks down the honest challenges.

Do extroverts sell more than introverts?

No. Extroverts don't automatically outsell introverts, and research backs that up.

Adam Grant, a psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, tracked more than 300 salespeople over 3 months. His study, published in Psychological Science in 2013, found that the most extroverted and the most introverted salespeople brought in about the same revenue.

The top earners were in the middle. Grant calls them ambiverts. An ambivert is a person with a mix of introverted and extroverted traits. According to Grant's 2013 study, ambiverts brought in about 24% more revenue than introverts and about 32% more than extroverts.

Here's the takeaway for you. Talking more doesn't close more deals. Knowing when to talk and when to listen does. Ashley names skilled listening as one of the top reasons introverts make great agents.

How should an introvert plan their week?

An introvert real estate agent should plan their week around energy, not only time. We call this the USRT Energy Budget Method, built on Ashley's top tip from her book.

"Restructure your day so you're refreshed and ready to show up as your best self," Ashley said.

How should an introvert handle a listing appointment?

An introvert should treat a listing appointment as a 2-way conversation, not a performance. Ashley says the goal is to listen to the seller's situation, not to convince them.

Here's her approach, step by step:

"The more you make it about the other person, the better the appointment goes," Ashley said.

For the pieces to bring with you, see our 5 steps for a powerful real estate listing presentation.

Do introverts need to "fake it till you make it"?

No. Introverts don't need to fake an outgoing personality to succeed in real estate, and Ashley warns that faking it can backfire.

"I don't love that term," she said. "You don't want to go in with slumped shoulders, but you also don't want to be insincere, because people sense that."

Her advice: lean into your natural strengths. "A lot of clients will choose to work with an agent who is a little more calm or reserved," she said.

What about not knowing every answer as a new agent? Ashley says clients don't expect that. "As long as you are confident that you can go find the answer and get back to them, that's what clients care about." Confidence comes from self-awareness, not volume.

If that new-agent nervousness sounds familiar, you're in good company. Read about the 4 career fears that scare most new real estate agents and how to get past them.

Should an introverted new agent join a team or go solo?

Either path can work for an introverted new agent. The right choice depends on the support around you, not on your personality type alone.

Ashley put it this way: going solo works well if your brokerage or local association can fill the gaps in training and support. A team can work too, but only if you find the right culture and talk openly about long-term expectations. She warned that teams that truly develop new agents can be hard to find.

Here's how the two options compare:

The takeaway

Being an introvert isn't a strike against you in real estate. It's a different way to do the job. Manage your energy like a budget, treat appointments as conversations, and stop trying to be someone you're not. If you want more from Ashley, her book Move Over, Extroverts and her workshops are at moveoverextroverts.com.

Not sure yet which traits matter most? Check out the 6 crucial personality traits of real estate agents and see how many you already have.

Ready to see if real estate fits you?

The best way to find out is to try a class before you commit. US Realty Training's California free trial gives you a free live intro class, in person or on Zoom, plus 3 days of free access to the online pre-licensing course.

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